Free your mind!

Shit

Last day of high school tomorrow/today only I don’t consider it today until I fall asleep and wake up. But it’s 230 and
I’m awake… Not cool at all.

realization

i always complain and say ill be single forever, but thats a lie and me being dumb. i could easily have someone there all the time. theres a couple people that would be in that spot and would love it. but i cant do it, my mind is hopelessly confused from what ive done to it. i didnt mean to though it just happened over time. i thought i was doing the right thing but i was wrong all those times. what i really need is to be alone, but i just wont give up i want someone to always be there with me to expierence life with. but anytime i get close i get scared. when i was 15 i was young and stupid and although im not to sure what love is i fell in what i believe was love with a boy. he was 4 years older than me and i was with him for six months. i let him walk all over me he didnt treat me well.. but what did i know i was in love. i was happy and dumb and loved every minute of it. when things ended i thought i was going to die i wanted to fall off the face of the earth. i didnt eat for a week and wouldnt talk to anyone. i couldnt let go.. ever since that boy broke my heart i compare my feelings with everyone to the feelings i had with him. it never seems to compare. he now has a kid and a little happy family.. im extremely happy for him. but why cant i be happy myself. everyone tells me to move on but how can you when something you cant control, your emotions, wont let you. its not that i want him back because i know it wouldnt be the same and i wouldnt feel the same.. what is wrong here

im sure no one will read this but thats fine i just needed to say it.